Wednesday, June 15, 2011

"The Myth of the Soul Mate, Writ Into Sex"

So says a commneter in reponse to Vox Nova's Brett Salkeld's excellent article — Is “Sexual Compatibility” a Myth? Some Thoughts on Cohabitation. The author and commenters offer a thorough and spirited debunking of this myth that "seems to presume that there is something almost biological going on wherein one must find someone with a similar sex drive, similar sexual tastes, even a compatible body."

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Blogger Pints in NYC said...

What are there, about 2 billion potential mates in the world for everyone?

Taking geography and time and historical accident into consideration makes the idea, and odds, of finding "the one" seem rather daunting.

It certainly sells movies, though. And music. And perhaps books, if anyone reads books anymore.

Still - doesn't mean anyone should settle. Nor does it mean anyone should take advantage of anyone else.

And yes, I think I do have to agree with Robin Williams' character in 'Good Will Hunting,' when he asks:

"You're not perfect, and she's not perfect, but the question is: are you perfect for each other?"

Perhaps related overall:

Catholic University of America's new President, John Garvey - the first lay president of that venerable pontifical institution - just yesterday had an Op-Ed in the Wall Street Journal announcing the school's intention to begin returning to single sex dorms (and the reasons therefore)

In any case: Freud delenda est!

10:27 PM  
Blogger The Western Confucian said...

I tried to have this conversation about "the one" with a colleague, as I was pushing him in vain to propose to one of our secretaries, a very sweet girl.

1:17 AM  
Blogger Enbrethiliel said...


My own romantic (or anti-romantic, take your choice) theory is that the other person becomes "the one" only after the marriage--and because of the marriage.

2:31 AM  
Blogger The Western Confucian said...

Definitely romantic. Makes sense, marriage being a sacrament and all.

Maybe it is because we've lost the sacramental sense of marriage that all this nonsense about "the one" and "soul mates" has arisen.

3:28 AM  

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