Monday, July 19, 2010

The Latent Homosexuality of Contemporary American Malehood

"Either I’m a madman in need of spectacles, or there are six million Americans who don’t know a desirable woman from a mantis shrimp," says Scott Locklin of a certain list of the "top 99 most desirable women" —’s Top Babes: Ravishing or Roadkill? Making note of the "square jaws, arms, deranged avian expressions on their faces, [and] masculine brow-ridges," the author suggests that these are women who are "probably really attractive to the type of gay fellow who is attracted to an adolescent boy." The author asks, "How did they get this way?"
    Well, I know for a fact that lots of female athletes and celebrities take anabolic steroids. Why would they do this? Well, for one thing, the more androgens you have in your body, the easier it is to shed body fat. That’s why teenage boys are so skinny. An agreeable side effect of androgen use is they also make you insanely horny. Probably, this makes hot tub parties more fun. Again, think about teenaged boys for example. Because I’m pretty sure what you’re looking at in a good fraction of AskMen’s top 99—genetic females who are endocrinological teenaged boys with plastic jahoobies sewed on. While it’s probably fun sleeping with women who hoover anavar off of Brad Pitt’s forearms, the long term results aren’t pretty. Unless you like women whose jawline you can exfoliate on.
"This state of affairs wasn’t always so," he reminds us. "Women in the golden age of cinema were amazing creatures." He continues, "These women of yesteryear were lovely, elegant, feminine and sexual without being trashy. They didn’t have personal trainers, plastic surgeons or even much in the way of makeup compared to today."

"Were I the paranoid type, I’d wonder if this wasn’t some fiendish plot cooked up by planned parenthood or the Bilderberg group to keep the population down," he suggests. (I am the paranoid type and see plenty of room for conspiracy analysis here.) He asks some questions: "Is everyone so exceedingly sensitive they can’t laugh at the freakshow foisted upon us as avatars of femininity? Is our culture so deranged they actually think these women are attractive?"

Back in the late '80s or early '90s, I recall sitting around the campus girl-watching with some of my college pals. A girl walked by wearing a muscle shirt exposing six-pack abs. One of my fellow oohed and aahed, when another, always dismissed due to his penchant for fat chicks, repsonded, "You might as well rub against some guy." Fat chicks at least, he argued, are womanly. I cannot help but scoff at my contemporaries who extol the charms of the "jeans and t-shirt type," girls who are "just one of the guys." My ideal, in contrast, has always been a dame dressed to the nines with a shapely pair of gams.

I have known fellow expats here in Korea, a land of hyper-feminine women where the girls are still girlish and the women demure, to lament the lack of the "athletic type" among Korean women. "I really miss girls in track suits," one of them said to me recently. Go home. Like the author, "my perfectly pedestrian, nerdly social life contains more beauty than AskMen’s silly list."

Labels: , , , , ,

Bookmark and Share


Blogger xavier said...

Camille Paglia made a similar observation in a recent article. She decried how white viewers seeed to prefer the skinny type models while the blacks and Latinsos still preferred voluptuous women like Beyoncé and America Ferrera.

I've never understood the appeal of the thin women like we see in modeling. I've always gravitated toward voluptuous women.

Without being indiscreet, my wife certianly fits that category even though she's Asian.


11:09 PM  
Blogger Mark in Spokane said...

Amen! And let me just comment, that one can still find women of great (natural and traditional) beauty, strong piety, and a strong sense of family here in America if one knows where to look. It isn't part of the dominant media-culture and what it glorifies, but it is there. And it is thriving in the immigrant communities of America, among the Latinos and Filipinos and Vietnamese and other newcomers who haven't yet been poisoned by the media-message regarding female "beauty."

My wife's family (Filipina-Chammoro ethnic background) is filled with women who are absolutely stunning by previous standards.

12:18 AM  
Blogger Lucille said...

The claim of 6 million votes is dubious. Most professional researchers (apart from the Census Bureau) don't use samples anywhere near that size. I imagine it could well be an easily-rigged internet survey.

2:08 AM  
Blogger The Western Confucian said...

xavier, my Korean wife, though slim, fits that category as well. I remember that Paglia article now that you mention it.

Mark, you're right. They are many good American women out there. The thing is, men set the standards for beauty, and they seem to really want teenage boys, but cannot admit it.

Lucille, I can see how professional researches would be unable to get such numbers, because they are professional and try to be scientific. I'm sure this was "an easily-rigged internet survey" as you suggest. Still, it's telling.

With a few rare exceptions, I only find any of the current crop female singers, actresses, or models attractive. However, those from the '40s and '50s were drop-dead gorgeous.

6:58 AM  
Anonymous Steven P. Cornett said...

There was one person in that list that actually looked attractive, and that was Katy Perry. And that's likely because of the picture, which precisely put her in a 50's movie-star look.

Even there, more like Bette Davis from the 30s or so.

As for the first person the author mentioned, Sasha, the picture he linked to her (clothed) made her look like a Japanese sex-doll...or like kind of an embalmed corpse. Scary, but she looked kinda dead inside.

Given what some who have testified about that lifestyle said, that may be more accurate than I know.

9:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Screwtape wrote a letter about this. I forget which chapter, though.

9:43 AM  
Anonymous love the girls said...

They look plenty sexual, with plenty of deep enduring curves in all the right places, to me.

If those babes are Planned Parenthood's plot to keep the population down, then I think its a bit of a failure.

1:18 PM  
Blogger Jonathan Wolfe said...

Not all the girls in the AskMen top 99 are that bad. Kate Beckinsale (who should be listed higher than #3) doesn't have the emaciated skeletor looks of other entries, like that zombie who is listed as #2 above her. Her face actually looks more rounded and feminine, and not so many paper-cut angles.

And while the #1 girl, Emmanuelle Chriqui, wouldn't even crack my top 20, she does look more womanly than 90% of the entries on the list. She's kinda like a college girl who hasn't discovered the glories of bulimia yet.

2:19 PM  
Blogger The Western Confucian said...

Steven, right about Katy Perry. I had never heard of Sasha Grey before, but here's a piece about the lifestyle: The Problem With Hipster Porn.

Anon, I'll have to look it up.

ltg, beer goggles?

Jonathan, right about Kate Beckinsale.

5:29 PM  
Anonymous love the girls said...

Western Confucian writes : "beer goggles?"

No. Simply a recognition that the latest trend in fashion doesn't support the notion of latent homosexuality, anymore than than the trend in fashion here of preferring fat chicks is latent porcine beastiality.

7:41 PM  
Blogger The Western Confucian said...

I went through the list and found some good looking, feminine ones. The author did point out a lot of scary, angular, skeletors, though.

On my visit to the US, I was unmoved by the Spartan California gurls with their tank-tops and running shorts. My head turns a lot more here in Korea, where the ladies are far less scantily-clad.

10:00 PM  
Anonymous m.z. said...

Certainly you see a different kind of woman celebrated on Telemundo. That said, I thought Asian norms for the ideal woman were small breasted and very thin. In America, I think the thinness ideal is more a reaction against the ubiquitousness of implants. Katy Perry, who is on the like list here, most likely has implants btw.

3:59 AM  
Blogger The Western Confucian said...

Asian women are slim and slender by nature, but still womanly. Men's ideal of feminine beauty is perhaps that of a teenage girl, not a teenage boy as the article suggests of Americans. That said, any "reaction against the ubiquitousness of implants" is a good thing in my book.

8:20 AM  
Anonymous Abdul Alhazred said...

I have never found either the fashion model X-rays or the athletic power-types to be the least bit attractive.

Women on a catwalk? No thanks.

Women on a treadmill? No thanks.

Women on the strip club stage? Yes!

Pay a visit to one of the strip clubs in San Francisco (for example) -- you won't see a single fashion model-type or athletic monster among the shapely, very very feminine females at one of those places. Those women know what most men really like: curves...womanly curves...and yet more womanly curves!

4:15 PM  
Anonymous love the girls said...

Western Confucian writes : "Asian women are slim and slender by nature, but still womanly. Men's ideal of feminine beauty is perhaps that of a teenage girl,"

Or the attraction of slim and slender women is that "ideal of feminine beauty is perhaps that of a teenage girl." And thus the attraction of Asia women because they are likewise sleek and slender is for the same reason.

Of course, my knowledge of the subject fits on the back of a postage stamp, and what experience I do have is that there are a fair amount of pudgy Asia girls, but . . .

11:13 PM  
Blogger Jonathan Wolfe said...

One aspect of Asian femininity I find weird is the obssession with fair skin.

Japan, for example, is the only country in the world I know with a "whiteness index" for each city.

I can assure you that those skin-whitening lotions are not targeted at men.

12:53 PM  
Blogger The Western Confucian said...

That's true in the rest of Asia as well, minus the whiteness indeces.

1:02 PM  
Anonymous Abdul Alhazred said...

I truly despise the fair-skin obsession in Japan, with women walking around parasols, spending obscene amounts of cash on skin-bleaching creams, etc.

Tan skin looks better, ladies.

It really, really does.

The deathly-pale, vampire-doll look might appeal to certain Goth-culture enthusiasts and necrophiles who fear the light of day, but not to me.

2:36 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

Omnes Sancti et Sanctæ Coreæ, orate pro nobis.